No One Judges You Harder Than You
She was discovered hitchhiking on a busy interstate. Barefoot. Tasmanian devil boxer shorts. Ripped t-shirt. Her dog — off leash — right beside her as cars raced past them.
That's the story Michele Capots told her 16-year-old nephew over dinner. The nephew who had just ghosted her after finding out she'd been hospitalized for severe depression.
This episode is about what happens when you finally stop protecting people from your truth — and what it costs you when you don't. Michele is a mental health advocate, speaker, writer and coach who has lived experience with bipolar disorder, multiple hospitalizations, and the thing she calls self-stigma: the moment we take society's cruelest beliefs about mental illness and turn them on ourselves.
It is soul-crushing and most of us have no idea we're doing it.
That story is the entry point into a much bigger conversation about what self-stigma actually is, why it's far more dangerous than the stigma we receive from others, and how it quietly (and not so quietly) steals our sense of worth, shrinks our expectations of ourselves, and keeps us in the same place long after the crisis has passed.
We also get into:
-What to actually say to someone who tells you they've been in a psych ward or are managing a mental illness. Spoiler: you don't have to have the perfect words. You just have to stay.
-Why mental health and mental wellness are not the same thing, and why collapsing that distinction actually does harm.
-The difference between the "I" in illness and the "we" in wellness — one of the most memorable lines you will hear this year.
-Why self-compassion isn't soft or optional — it is the thing that dissolves self-stigma, full stop.
Michele is the kind of person who makes you feel less alone just by being honest about her own life. This episode is a gift for anyone who has struggled, love someone who struggles, or ever stood there not knowing what the hell to say which is basically all of us.
Find Michele on Instagram and read her Substack, The Magic of Mental Wellbeing.
Guest Bio:
Michele Capots is a transformational coach, speaker, storyteller, and relentless mental wellness and resilience advocate. Her essays on mental health have appeared in Newsweek, The Washington Post, Marie Claire, among others. Drawing from her own journey through mental health crises, she has been dedicated for close to a decade to inspiring others through theirs. A sought-after speaker and thought leader, she vulnerably shares her insights and lessons around shame, self-worth, resilience, and mental wellness, which involves so much more than just good mental health. She has served as an Executive Committee Member of the Global Mental Health Peer Network, a non-profit of 38 countries worldwide focused on mental health advocacy, and is a board member for Twogere, a nonprofit focused on youth mental health recovery in Uganda. She lives in Arlington, VA.
Website: https://www.michelecapost.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelecapotsdotcom
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michele-capots-9149323/
TOP QUOTES — MICHELE CAPOTS
- "Self-stigma is when we take society's beliefs about mental health and turn them inward on ourselves."
- "Stigma doesn't just label people. It disconnects them from themselves."
- "There's an I in illness and a we in wellness."
- "We don't get better by ourselves. We need other people. We can't get well on our own."
- "I don't know what you're going through and I don't know how to help you — but I want you to know I'm here for you if you need me." (on the most powerful thing you can say)
- "Self-compassion is the hardest thing you'll ever do, but it brings the biggest relief."
About Jen Oliver:
Jen Oliver is a speaker, podcaster, and communications coach - equipping people to speak with greater impact and presence. Whether you are speaking on stage, promoting your brand, or voicing your needs in a relationship - communicating with your truest voice and cultivating human connection with your audience is the key to influence. Jen coaches individuals privately and within her Signature group programs - in addition to delivering workshops as a guest expert in a variety of settings.
Jen serves as a 4-season Executive Producer, Director of Curation, and Speaker Coach for TEDxFolsom. She is a committed force behind WomanSpeak™ - an internationally recognized body of work teaching the art and soul of public speaking. Jen is on a mission to support 1 million women as they speak with uncommon levels of freedom and confidence. Tap into more at
email: jen@REALjenoliver.com
podcast website: ListenForREAL.com
website: REALJenOliver.com
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